How to Talk to Your Child About Cyberbullying

How to Talk to Your Child About Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying has become one of the most pressing challenges facing children and families today. According to a 2019 UNICEF poll of 170,000 young people across 30 countries, more than one-third had experienced cyberbullying. Yet many parents feel paralyzed when it comes to addressing this issue.

How do you start such a conversation without seeming intrusive? How do you help without making things worse? Before talking to your child about cyberbullying, it helps to understand what cyberbullying is and what it actually looks like in their world.

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is bullying with the use of digital technologies. It can take place on social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms, and mobile devices. It is a repeated behaviour aimed at scaring, angering, or shaming those who are targeted.

Cyberbullying can take many forms, including:

• Hurtful messages or threats sent repeatedly

• Exclusion from group chats or online communities

• Humiliating comments or posts about someone’s appearance, identity, or background

• Sharing private photos without permission

• Rumours spread on social platforms

How to Talk to Your Child If They’re Facing Cyberbullying

Finding out your child is being bullied could be heartbreaking. It could even be harder when the bullying happens online, and your child keeps it to themselves. As a parent, this conversation might feel uncomfortable, but it's one of the most important ones you can have.

Here are some expert suggestions on how to go about having this conversation:

1. Learn to spot the signs

Sometimes children won't tell you directly that something's wrong. So, you should watch for subtle changes in behavior, like avoiding their phone or computer when they used to use it constantly, seeming upset after being online, trouble sleeping, not wanting to go to school, or suddenly withdrawing from friends and activities they used to enjoy.

These signs don't automatically mean that they’re experiencing cyberbullying, but they're worth a gentle conversation.

2. Choose the right moment to talk

You don't need to sit your child down for a formal talk. Instead, look for natural moments. Maybe you're driving in the car, cooking dinner together, or watching a show where someone is being mean online. These everyday moments make great starting points.

Try opening with simple questions: "Have you ever seen someone being mean to another kid online?" or "What would you do if someone said something hurtful to you in a text?"

Listen more than you talk. Your child needs to know you're there to understand, not to judge or immediately take away their phone.

3. Focus on the right things when you talk

When your child does open up, what you say and how you say it matter just as much as listening. Let them know you’re proud of them for speaking up. It takes courage to talk about something that feels embarrassing, scary, or overwhelming.

Ask gentle, open-ended questions to better understand what’s happening, such as:

• “Can you tell me what happened?”

• “How did that make you feel?”

• “Is this something that’s been happening more than once?”

Children who experience cyberbullying may fear that if they tell a parent about it, the parent will try to "fix" it by doing somthing harsh, like taking their phone away. So, avoid jumping straight into problem-solving or criticising how they responded. In these moments, your role is to validate their feelings and help them feel supported, not necessarily to interrogate or lecture them.

4. Decide on next steps together

Once your child feels heard and understood, you can begin to talk about what comes next, and it’s important to do this with them, not for them.

Reassure your child that you won’t take action without involving them, unless their safety is at risk. This helps rebuild trust and reduces the fear of having their devices taken away or losing online privileges. For example, you can discuss safe ways to report the cyberbullying with them, and share tips they can use to protect themselves from similar situations in the future.

Every situation is different, so there’s no single right response. What matters most is that your child knows they’re not alone and that you’re on their side, ready to support them through whatever steps feel safest and most appropriate.

If Your Child Is the One Doing the Bullying

This can be hard to face, but sometimes our own children are responsible for hurtful behaviour online. If this happens, try to stay calm. Reacting with anger may cause them to shut down instead of learning from the situation.

Find out why it happened. Some children don’t realize the impact of their words when they’re typed behind a screen. Others may be acting out because of their own struggles.

Help them understand the real impact of their actions. Remind them that there is a real person on the other side of the screen, and what feels like a joke can be deeply hurtful.

Finally, focus on making things right. Encourage a sincere apology and follow through with appropriate consequences, such as limiting device use or finding meaningful ways to make amends.